Sunday, November 7, 2010

Toy Time...the battle continues

Our current challenge with Jaycoby is what we refer to as "toy time". This is the only time of the day where we make him go to his room and play with his toys. Yes, I said "make" him play with his toys. And not just any toys. We are talking about the toys that he will spend hours searching for online (yes, my 4-year old knows how to do online shopping) and then will go hunting for in the store aisles every time we go shopping. These are the toys that he supposedly cannot live without. You know, THOSE toys :). Apparently, once said toys finally make their way into his bedroom, they have lost everything that was once so desirable about them. He refuses to play with his toys. When I tell him it is toy time, he will say "I just want to cuddle with you, mom". He knows that is something I cannot refuse and it is a way to get out of having to go to his room. He will play the wii with me watching, he will play games on the computer while showing me each and every step, he will play games with me (one of my least favorite things), he will bake with me and he is always happy to go places with me. But he will not play with his toys when we ask him to. This has been a huge frustration for me for several reasons:
1) I do not want to raise a child who has no appreciation for the wonderful things he has been given. Yes, I get it. He is a kid and he is going to want toys. He is also going to ask for things from time to time. But I used to have a kid that I could take to the store with an understanding that I was not going to purchase anything (btw, that is when you actually want to buy them something, because they are so easy to take shopping). But when they are constantly asking for things, or expecting that they will get something every time we make a trip to the store, it gets old fast. I hate feeling like the mean mommy for saying "no, you can't have that" or "we aren't buying anything today". But then I shouldn't feel mean, because he should not be asking over and over and over again.
2) This is the only time that I can get dinner ready or just have some time that he is not making constant demands for my attention. Yes, he is four and deserves all of the attention in the world. But I also want to be a nice mommy to my kids. And in order for that to happen I need to have little breaks throughout the day. Sorry buddy. You will thank me later.
3) Kids are supposed to want to play with toys!!! I just don't feel like this should be a battle we even have to deal with. When we go to friends houses, he will play with their toys for hours, without hesitation. It is a totally different story when we are at home.
4) I am realizing that this has nothing to do with toys and that he is just like his mother. What? Did I really just list that as a reason that this whole ordeal is frustrating me? That's right. There is so much more to this than him not wanting to play with his toys. Really, he just doesn't like to play by himself. He doesn't mind playing with the toys, persay, but he doesn't want to have to do it alone. Unfortunately, I am exactly the same. I do not like doing things alone and always...ALWAYS have more fun doing things in the company of others. I am now realizing how exhausting this must be to the people around me. It's awesome when we see the things we don't like about ourselves in our children. I guess the insight is helpful, but it doesn't mean I have to like it :)

Tonight we told him it was toy time, so he went to his room. After about five minutes, I realized that it was really quiet. When I went to his room I found him like this. Apparently his leg was "hurting", so he couldn't really play right then :)

1 comment:

Rachel said...

He is going to love that you gave him his own playmate!!! Just give her 6 months and he'll be in heaven!!! (or atleast that's how it worked for Sawyer)