Love & Respect- Dr. Emerson Eggerichs

Mike & I had the privilege of attending the Love & Respect Conference, at New Hope Community Church, in Portland, this past Friday evening and Saturday morning. It was a long conference, but totally worth our time. I had read the book last month and was personally convicted and encouraged by Dr. E's perspective on Ephesians 5:33. "However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband" (NIV). It is so easy to slip into the habit of trying to make our partner happy by meeting the needs that we have for ourselves. If you haven't read this book, I challenge you to do so. Mike hadn't read the book, prior to the conference, and he was really impressed with what Dr. E had to say. The best we could come up with is just that the principles are just so "practical", even for those who may not want to see it from a scriptural point of view. It's so obvious what we are meant to do as husband and wife. It's been in the Scriptures for so long, yet we've overlooked such a simple vocabulary. And this is what God has commanded us to do in our roles as husband and wife. They did a great job of explaining how science and scripture reveal the code on these two deep values (love & respect).

Some highlighted points from the conference:
- Without love, she reacts without respect.
- Without respect, he reacts without love.
- His love motivates her respect.
- Her respect motivates his love.
- The one who sees himself or herself as the most mature, moves first (referring to reconciling) :)
- 1 Corinthians 7:28- "If you should marry, you have not sinned...Yet such will have trouble in this life."....it won't be easy!
- No one is wrong, we're just different.

Wives need this from their husbands (COUPLE):
- Closeness- When you want to be with her face to face
- Openness- When you aren't secretly mad at her
- Understanding- When you empathize with her
- Peacemaking- When you resolve/reconcile with her
- Loyalty- When you are completely committed to her
- Esteem- When you treasure her above all else

Husbands need this from their wives (CHAIR):
- Conquest- Appreciating his desire to work & achieve
- Hierarchy- Appreciating his desire to protect & provide & even die for you
- Authority- Appreciating his desire to be strong & to lead (to make decisions)
- Insight- Appreciating his desire to analyze & counsel
- Relationship- Appreciating his desire for a shoulder-to-shoulder friendship
- Sexuality- Appreciating his desire for sexual intimacy