This is going to be a long post, but I need to have all of these things on record. Jaycoby is so funny and I want him to be able to read all of this some day. Thanks for making us laugh, buddy!
J: “Mom, when are you going to go to college?”
Me: “I already went to college.”
J: “Oh, then you growed up to be a mom?”
Me: “What did you have for snack at school?”
J: “I don’t want to tell you. It’s not a good situation.”
He was displeased that they served him hot applesauce instead of cold. And he thought he might get in trouble with mom, because he didn’t eat it.
“What if I had three fingers like Transformer? Then I would shake peoples hands and they would think it was weird.”
After a discussion about how we should be nice to everyone, it led to how God made everyone different- big, small, short and tall. J then said, ”Mom, God made me naughty, good, and wanting lots of toys. That’s just how He made me.”
“You don’t even have to worry about it mom. I won’t watch Phineas and Ferb, because I’m a good kid. You said that sometimes.”
After lifting him into the shopping cart at Target, Jaycoby said “Mom, you’re as strong as a superhero.”
J: “This is my baby sister. “
Little girl: “Oh. What’s her name?”
Little girl: “Why?”
J: “Because my mom picked it. Isn’t it a pretty name? I think so.”
Jaycoby (talking in his baby-talk voice to Ella): "Hello, my little Alicia Keys".
Me: Where did you hear that?
J: On the Backyardigans.
J: "Mom, I don't want to get in trouble ever again. I want to move to 'I don't care land' so you will just say to me 'I don't care, Jaycoby'?". This was a totally random comment that he blurted out after I thanked him for being such a helpful big brother. Not really sure where it came from, but I thought it was pretty clever.
"Oh, hi sweetheart. You are so beautiful today."- talking to Ella
"Mom, you can change the hair on my wii guy. I'm pretending it's Mother's Day, so I'll let you."-after telling me he'd rather I just watch him play wii than attempt to play with him.
J: "Mom, you're stomach is shrinking."
Me: "Well thank you."
…conversation should've stopped there...
J: "But is Ella still in your tummy? Because it looks like it."
"I have the perfect nickname for Ella: Ella Cinderella Love Michelle Roff (Roth)." Perfect!
Eating lunch at Costco and Jaycoby keeps poking holes in his pizza with his finger, while taking bites:
Mike: "Jaycoby, stop playing with your food."
Jaycoby: "Mike, I am just eating it like they do in Mexico."
I was sitting in the glider and rocking Ella. Jaycoby was rocking along with us on the glider foot stool:
Jaycoby: "Mom, you look like a grandma with blonde hair rocking Ella. It's so sweet."
My hair is dyed a really dark brown right now.
J: Awww, she looks just like a girl.
Me: J, don't correct me.
J: But you do it to me.
Me: I'm the mom!
J: Ooooohhhhh. Well then good job, mom.
After going to bed at night, he shouts out to us:
“Call me if you need me…or if I have a phone call.”
Getting out of the car to go to Awana:
“Lets Cubby it up!”
After encouraging Jaycoby to play with his toys, in his bedroom, he asked if he could bring his toys out to the family room to play with them. I told him he could and he said "Okay, thanks. Then I can give you kisses whenever I want to while I am playing with my toys."
We were playing hide and seek. Jaycoby told me to hide first, so I hid in my bathroom shower. He called out for me for a while and finally started crying because he thought I was gone. I quickly ran to him and told him I was just hiding. On my next hiding turn he said: "Okay mom, these are the rules. You can't hide too far away from me or I will freak out."
J: "I didn't tell you about our theme today...how we are different."
Me: "So how are you different?"
J: "Well....I'm like tan."
His new excuse at nap time...
"I'm getting too much dreams when I sleep, so I just can't sleep for a little bit."
J: "What are we doing after swim lessons?"
Me: "We are going to run some errands."
J: "Oh, that sounds boring. I don't really want to do boring stuff today."
Instead of saying “you crack me up” he says “you crack my nuds”.
J: Ewwww….ewwww….I just tooted.
Me: You need to brush your teeth.
J: I wish I was the dad, so I wasn't ruled.
Obviously Mike has told J who is really in charge around here.
J: Me and Ella know everything and mom knows nothing.
Me: Where did that come from?
J: Ella. I’m dead serious. She said that.
J: What happens if you get a belly button infection? Does the doctor give you drops?
This was shortly after he was given eye drops for his pink eye infection.
Mike: Hey buddy, how was your day?
J: Oh Mike, you are going to die laughing when you hear about this....
J: Mom, for my next birthday, I want a surprise party.
J: Mom, I love you so much.
Me: Aww, I love you too, sweetie. Do you love me more than Wii?
J: I love you more than vacuuming.
Jaycoby is playing Wii and looks over at Mike, who is sitting beside him on the couch:
J: Mike you look bored. Do you want me to turn off the Wii and play a board game with you or somefin?
He requested that I add this to the list of funny things he says:
“Milk in the milkshake” (he will say this while playing Wii)
While playing house with Callie,
J: We need to watch Cake Boss. I have it recorded for you, honey, and I didn’t delete it yet.
Callie: I got a new tv.
J: Do you have Direct TV like us?
While riding in our friends car, he told Meghan:
If Diego gets dirty you won’t be able to see it, because he is brown.
When I grow up, I want to be hairy all over, like Mike.
J: Take a looooong look in the mirror today.
Me: Are you rollerblading?
J: No. We are wearing inline skates.
J’s Friend: Where does your dad work?
J: My dad works at the boring McDonald’s where they don’t make any food and just work on computers and stuff.
Me: "You ate your whole pancake? Oh my goodness."
J: "That's what big kids do. They eat all of their stuff. I'm so proud of myself."
"I need a nightcap."
He was referring to wearing his stocking cap to bed at night while he sleeps.
"It would be awesome if you would clean this up for me, mom."
J: I washed my hands until my eyes balled out.
J: Mom, can you buy the ‘nudder’ kind of cream cheese. Sometimes this one like tastes like….lemon.
J:If only you were a blind person, you could see in the dark.
Sick with a bad cold.
J: Mom, can you take lots of care of me?
At nap time:
J: What day is it?
J: Oh, Luigi (his stuffed Mario guy) doesn’t take naps on Wednesdays. Here you go. Take good care of him.
J: Mom, can you make my breakfast?
Me: Sure. What do you want?
J: What is something that takes a long time to make? Hmmm…pancakes. I’ll have that.
J: I am going to invent underwears that will scratch my bottom for me. You can push a bottom and ‘bloop’ your bottom is being scratched.
Watching morning cartoons and one of the characters calls the other one a dork.
J gasps and looks at me.
Another character says the word stupid.
J gasps again, grabs the remote and says “I’ll turn it down, mom, so we can’t hear the bad words”.
We changed the channel instead.
Mike is reading his book.
Jaycoby: What are you reading about? God? Jesus? Precious little babies?
J: I want to go to Panda Express.
Me: No, we aren’t going there.
Me: Because we need to save our dollars and mommy needs to lose weight.
J: But mom you are the perfect skinny.
I caught J picking his nose in the car.
Me: Jaycoby, you don’t want to pick your nose. What if you were doing that at school? Your friends might tease you and that would make you feel bad.
J: But mom, I would never do it at school. I’m really serious. I never would.